I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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