Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
