...so i touched it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
