ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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