I wish i was in the wii world.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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