I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
