Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As shirtless as possible
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
