Who wears a wallet chain?!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
