i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
