Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you would pick up someone in the library
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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