so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
