kristin has been a bad kristin
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
