Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
