I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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