We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
