I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
