I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
