also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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