how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
