i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
