I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
