Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
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