no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
