Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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