Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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