So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
