i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
