he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
