Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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