she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
