Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
