at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
