Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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