STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My bed smells like the plague
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
