Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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