when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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