Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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