wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
