If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
