Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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