I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
we're so committed to being not committed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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