I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think my vagina is haunted
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
