and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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