I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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