Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
