just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
