Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
