I hate all girls vehemently.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
