Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
