hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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