fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
