I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
