im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
